Surreal

Tomorrow after work, my boyfriend and I will be visiting his aunt. Her husband was Bill. Just thinking about her last night brought me to tears. I can't even imagine, and I don't want to imagine being in her shoes. It was so sudden. People always say that but it's true. He fell down a few stairs, hit his head, and was in a coma. His brain was bleeding. There was no hope of recovery. The decision was made by the doctors to take him off life support. Apparently the accident happened around two in the morning on Saturday night/Sunday morning. My boyfriend and I were at the hospital with Bill and the family from about 5:00 AM. It was the worst 9 hours of my life. I can't imagine what it was like for his wife and children, and mother. His elderly mother took a flight here to watch her 55 year old son die. Bill's wife loved him so much. She was wailing and crying so hard she couldn't breathe. Her chest hurt. Because he was ripping her heart out. That's what she said. She leaned over his body and cried over and over, "don't do this to me, I can't do this, don't leave me". The most heart-wrenching thing I've ever seen. Thinking about it now is making me really cry. It was all so surreal. He was just lying there, but there was no visible injuries and his life support kept him breathing regularly and his blood pumping, so he looked...healthy. So it was hard to accept that he wasn't really there anymore. I heard the doctor say that only his brain stem was functioning. We were all there when he took his last breath. That was hard. Really, really hard.

His wife is not handling this so well. When people come over to see her, she just stays locked away in her bedroom and she won't stop crying. I don't know what to say to her. How we can make it better for her.

I didn't know I was going to write about this. But I don't really talk about it with anyone.