Melancholia

Melancholia

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Childhood Memories

I haven't written in so long I don't know where to start. I will start with what I am doing right now. I am sipping on Merlot, it's called Lucky Bug. It's organic and I'm not sure I'm a fan. But it will do. I'm listening to K's Choice: Not An Addict. Great song. And I'm chatting with a childhood friend, I'll call him Savi, cause that's what I called him when we were kids.

Savi. We didn't keep in touch after elementary school. We hadn't talked to or seen each other in about 20 years (20 years! How is it even possible that I've been alive that long?) but so are the joys of Facebook. Oh Savi. Where do I start? Savi was one of the few reasons I had for wanting to go to school in the morning (the others were my best friend, and the fact that I was out of the house for the day). It's funny, because when I think about it, I only went to school with him for three years, but it feels like he embodies my whole childhood school experience. I believe he came to us in Grade 5.

Savi was something special, and I knew this even then. He was very well-liked but it never went to his head. He had a lot of friends, but he seemed content to hang with the girls. He didn't judge. He was extremely funny. And sweet. I remember he willingly participated in a science experiment, conducted by my best friend and I called The Pain Threshold. He willingly participated in this - who does that?

It was devastating when we graduated from elementary school. I had a sort-of friend ask me, so what's going to happen now? Are you and Savi going to hook up? I replied that I didn't know, and I had a feeling we weren't even going to keep in touch. And we didn't. It's so strange knowing that he stayed in town, different high school, but same very small town, and we never ran into each other once. We lost touch and last year he added me as a friend on Facebook. And here we are. We've been chatting a lot lately, and it's like we're 12 years old again. Only we're not. All this time has past, and we have so many of the same thoughts and interests. I look forward to our chats. We spend most of it bombarding each other with links to songs. It's so weird. I'm going home for Christmas, and I'm both afraid and looking forward to the fact that he might also be home for Christmas. I don't know if I want to see him. I mean, when we're chatting, I'm mostly remembering that 12 year old scrawny little kid. It's really hard for me to imagine that he's all grown up, even though I've seen the pictures to prove it.

I don't know. I do this. When I finally relate to another human being I become crazy. Neurotic. I shouldn't over-think this, right?