Monday, April 12, 2010

Dead Tired

I was dead tired today. Actually, I'm dead tired just about everyday. I don't understand it. At work today, I was actually contemplating just spreading out on the dirty floor and closing my eyes, and I knew that I would be able to just pass out right then and there. Did I mention I hate Mondays?

In other news, I received free tickets to go see the Bare Naked Ladies this week. I haven't actually listened to any of their albums since high school (which is way way too long ago), but hey, a free to ticket to a concert is not a bad thing.

On Friday, I am going to visit a 'friend' I have only really hung out with once. And since she lives way out of town, and has a four year old child, I'm heading there after work for a little sleepover. I've been promised pancakes so I'm hopeful it will all work out. Of course, I'm not really looking forward to it.

I've been trying to force myself to be more active these days in the hopes that something will ignite inside me again. I don't get it. I have been doing some things right. This past 6 months I've been exercising more, this past year I've been eating better, I've been trying to do things I enjoy, which is basically concerts, I've been trying to be more social, and I've been trying to release some of my feelings via this blog. In the last couple of years I've completed a first draft of a novel, which is at least something.

But here I am, still me. Still depressed. Still paralyzed with indecision and fear. I guess I will just keep trying? It's either that or lie down and die, right?

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