letting people in

so i finally officially came out of the book closet yesterday and let everyone in on my writing habit. i posted my first blog post on saturday, then another one today, and announced them both on facebook and twitter. it was an odd feeling, i was scared, letting people in like that, but it also felt like a load was lifted. like, i don't care quite as much if people think i'm cheezy, or if my blog sucks, or if my writing sucks for that matter. because it's just me. take it or leave it.

Book n' Blogging

So I got as far as signing up for a new blog, figured out my name, and my little tag line, chose a template, added widgets, and now...I'm stuck. I have no idea how to start this thing. I mean, how much can I say about my writing process? I was thinking of other things I could write about. It's surprisingly difficult because this is a blog that I would advertise to my real-world "friends", so I guess I'm just feeling nervous. Like preparing a public speaking presentation for my classmates.

I have definitely not been very consistent with the time I spend on my novel. I can go months without working on it, and then if I'm lucky, have months of writing. I've been trying to do a little bit of editing every week though. I obsessively calculate what percentage I've finished. For example, as of now, I am 66% into editing my first draft. Not that accurate a measurement I know, because I'm just basing it on the number of pages I've gone through. I've deleted A LOT of scenes and added a few more here and there. There are times when I absolutely despise what I've created, and then there are times when I become quite involved in just reading it, like I've almost forgotten that it's my story and I know how it ends. I love those times. I know there's still a lot of work left to do, (probably 50 more drafts), but I have to admit that I am a little excited at the progress, however slow it has been.

Good Advice

I've decided something today, and that's not an easy thing to do if you're me. I've been avoiding the blog thing since I started, mostly because, despite the anonymity of it, I am still afraid of what others will think of me. I'm afraid everyone will know what a despicable person I am, what a horrible writer I am. But I've decided I don't care. And I owe it to a comment made by cmk on a blog I was reading: "I think we forget sometimes that our blogs are there for a reason: for us to put down our thoughts. We worry too much about pleasing our readers and don’t think of ourselves enough. Be selfish and write or DON’T write as YOU please...." I think that is good advice, and though it was not intended for me, I will take it.