Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Winter is killing me...

This week is off to a bad start, and I'm not sure what triggered this change in mood. I feel irritable and emotional.

My parents are very old-fashioned and needy. If I don't call every single weekend, they get worried or offended or both. What they don't seem to understand, is that sometimes, I just need to avoid talking to them. My parents are serious downers, and every time I call, it's just a run-down of who died, who's currently dying, who was just diagnosed with cancer, and oh, why don't you call more often?

So I returned my dad's call the other day and he informed me that my aunt had a small stroke at some point. He has also had a stroke, as have numerous others on my dad's side of the family - something to look forward to?

He also informed me that my sister's dog (a black lab) has cancer and will need to be euthanized. He is only seven years old and is one stressed out little doggie. They took him in when he was two and soon realized he had a lot of psychological problems that may be a result of abuse. The poor dog is terrified of everything: stairs, strange buildings, plastic bags, his own shadow. It's heart-breaking and funny at the same time. (It's hard not to laugh when you see a giant dog jump 10 ft in the air because of a grocery bag floating serenely off the kitchen counter). One thing he doesn't lack, is character.

I feel so sad that he will have to be put down, I can only imagine what my sister and her husband are going through. They don't have children, and this dog has been their only joy in the last five years.

It could be the dog, the family, the relationship, or this neverending winter. Or maybe it's just me. But I feel confused and frustrated and lonely. I don't feel comfortable talking about this with anyone; hence, the unloading of my problems here. Lucky you!

I will keep telling myself that it will pass. Meanwhile, we are still in the dead of winter here in the barren land of Whatchimazoo. Mother Nature seems pissed. I delayed joining the running program because I realized I am most definitely not hardcore enough to start running outdoors in the winter. So I decided to wait for the spring program, which starts in...2 weeks. That doesn't leave much time for the ground to unthaw. I'm a little worried. Mesh sneakers on the frozen tundra. Not cool.

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