My Really Ugly Baby

So this weekend I finally cracked open my novel to begin the painful editing process. I feel relieved that I am back to work on it, and somewhat encouraged, but in all honesty I have spent most of this "editing" time re-reading advice in various books and correcting the minor flaws that don't really worry me. But I guess I have to start somewhere, right?

I'm really struggling with point of view. I wrote my entire first draft in first person, past-tense point of view, but now I'm wondering if this is the best route to go. My character undergoes some pretty heavy changes, and I wonder if it would be best to change point of views so what she is thinking at the time remains a mystery, and also I wonder if maybe the real action is with some of the other characters...I don't know.

My sister tells me I should join a writer's group. And I do like the idea of a writer's group, but I'm pretty sure when it comes down to it, I would feel too awkward and insecure about my ideas. I would feel like a fraud. Then there's the irony of being over-protective of something I don't really seem to have faith in in the first place. My novel is like a really ugly baby: hard to look at, but I still love it and am afraid to let it go; afraid it will be judged unfairly by others who haven't loved and nurtured it as I have. Okay, maybe that's rude to ugly babies everywhere. Maybe I should compare it to a totally evil baby, but that's just plain creepy.... Regardless, it would still be nice to receive feedback and advice from people who have been there. Sigh.