Melancholia
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Waiting
So I spent almost 2 weeks going crazy waiting for the results of my biopsy. I finally called the office when I didn't hear back. My doctor told me it doesn''t seem to be what they thought. He wants me to have an urgent appointment with a dermatologist so now I'm waiting for that call. I am going stir-fucking-pull-out-my-hair-CRAZY!
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
So the airhead receptionist wasn't entirely wrong. I did need to go to the doctor's to have something removed: a chunk out of my leg the size of a single couscous. Ew. Did I really just make the comparison? Anyway, it was a biopsy. So now I have to wait a week and see what horrible disease I have. Can't wait.
I feel like my body is falling apart. I was thinking about this the other day: when people die of so-called natural causes, does it only happen at the moment that the mind, body and soul unanimously agree that it's time to let go? Maybe it's because I'm such a pessimist, but I wonder if my body is simply catching up with the rest of me.
Anyway, not much else to add today. I'm very tired.
I feel like my body is falling apart. I was thinking about this the other day: when people die of so-called natural causes, does it only happen at the moment that the mind, body and soul unanimously agree that it's time to let go? Maybe it's because I'm such a pessimist, but I wonder if my body is simply catching up with the rest of me.
Anyway, not much else to add today. I'm very tired.
Friday, July 10, 2009
My Dimpled Ass
I have recently acquired a taste for very spicy Caesars. I'm drinking one right now in fact. Perhaps it is even the reason why I've finally decided to post.
So...there seems to be something seriously wrong with me. I know, I know, this was already quite obvious right? But the last couple of weeks or so have seen the kicking of my dimpled ass. My legs are swollen and bumpy and red and sore. I don't know what it is but I've considered some pretty awful things like cancer, tumours, blood clots and more. I've gone to the doctor twice in a week and had about 7 viles of blood drained from me for testing. My doctor's office called me at work and told me to come in on Monday. The receptionist was so uninformed and tactless, she actually said to me "dr. wash wants you to come in on Monday to see Dr. Keeling so he can remove...whatever it is you have". Nice. I have no idea what I have. Nor was there any discussion with my doctor about having something removed. So...this kind of worries me. But I guess I will find out on Monday right?
Anyway, I am currently listening to Cat Power on Jango.com. I love the way this website works but they have recently imposed their listeners with advertisements. This is not cool. Uninterrupted stream of music - that's why I like Internet radio. Why Jango? Why???
So, it's 11:38 and I'm feeling pretty buzzed (which usually means sleepy for me) from this one Caesar, so it's not looking so good for fitting in some writing before bed. But I shall give it a try, until I get distracted again by something on the evil Internet. Wish me luck.
So...there seems to be something seriously wrong with me. I know, I know, this was already quite obvious right? But the last couple of weeks or so have seen the kicking of my dimpled ass. My legs are swollen and bumpy and red and sore. I don't know what it is but I've considered some pretty awful things like cancer, tumours, blood clots and more. I've gone to the doctor twice in a week and had about 7 viles of blood drained from me for testing. My doctor's office called me at work and told me to come in on Monday. The receptionist was so uninformed and tactless, she actually said to me "dr. wash wants you to come in on Monday to see Dr. Keeling so he can remove...whatever it is you have". Nice. I have no idea what I have. Nor was there any discussion with my doctor about having something removed. So...this kind of worries me. But I guess I will find out on Monday right?
Anyway, I am currently listening to Cat Power on Jango.com. I love the way this website works but they have recently imposed their listeners with advertisements. This is not cool. Uninterrupted stream of music - that's why I like Internet radio. Why Jango? Why???
So, it's 11:38 and I'm feeling pretty buzzed (which usually means sleepy for me) from this one Caesar, so it's not looking so good for fitting in some writing before bed. But I shall give it a try, until I get distracted again by something on the evil Internet. Wish me luck.
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