Melancholia

Melancholia

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Ghost




Look! It's me! I don't know what possessed my significant other to snap this shot, but it seems like it's just a day in the life...I'm having trouble with the whole blogging thing for various reasons. One of which is that even though I think I think interesting thoughts all of the time, I can never seem to think them when it's time to write. Another reason is that I'm an uber-private person, most of the time. So even though this thing is anonymous, I still feel exposed. So in an effort to get out there and expose myself (maybe I should re-think that phrase) I've posted a picture to write about.

This is me at my computer, obviously. Seeing the office area from this perspective, makes me realize it's not a very inviting area. Believe it or not, this is actually an improvement over maybe a year ago. I mostly just re-arranged and cleaned up the office. But it still looks so...stale? And that's just it isn't it? Everything is bare, impersonal, hard. Just like me. It's like I've been afraid to personalize anything, make it my own. The other day, I went for a long walk in the evening. It wasn't so much a walk as a saunter. Or maybe a shuffle. Or maybe all three. I started out walking, when I arrived at the park, I sauntered, and as I became wrapped up in my own thoughts, I sort of shuffled about. I was overwhelmed with this sensation that I don't really exist. That I'm a ghost. I searched everywhere in that park for a sign of me, but there was none. When I came home, I lurked, yes lurked, around in my own yard, looking for signs of me, and found none. I peered into my windows to see if I could find me inside, but I could not. I'm a ghost, but I'm haunting a place I've never been.


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