My Unattractive Tardiness

So here I am, bored at work again, and wisely using the time to do something other than be productive.

Last weekend, on the Friday, I met my proofreader and her boyfriend at my favourite music venue to watch a friend and his band. They left early because she was way too drunk, and after the bar closed, I went with a bunch of dudes to Denny's. I have not been to a Denny's since my college days. It brought back fond memories of going out to the bar with friends, and then needing to satisfy the munchies when nothing else was open. It's an interesting cross-section of society that ends up at Denny's in the middle of the night.

So as I mentioned, I've been having more difficulty getting out again and Friday was no exception. I was literally dreading it.

It doesn't make sense. I had plans to go to one of my favourite places, to do something I love doing and meet up with people I genuinely like. So why is it when the time comes, I always just want to hide under a rock and die? When I came home from work on Friday, I took one of my "I-don't-want-to-be-alive-right-now-so-I'm-just-going-to-take-a-nap-and-hope-the-world-goes-away-naps". This of course made me late and I missed some of their performance.

I didn't expect to see this guy, who is a drummer in another band, but he was sitting at our table. Here I was, trying not to be too hard on myself for being late, when this guy, we'll call him D, gave me a hard time about it. I told him, that was just me, it's my thing. His response? "Tardiness is a very unattractive quality", to which I responded "Did you just call me unattractive?" Despite my apparent unattractiveness he was extremely affectionate all night. He is probably the most flirtatious, affectionate guy I have ever met. Now I have people reading too much into his behaviour. And it makes me wonder. And it makes me think of things I shouldn't think about. Did I mention that he is actually a really, really good boy? Like hypothetically speaking, his only motivation for wanting to be with me would have to be to save me? I can just see him asking me out on a date, to his church, and me having to explain why I musn't enter for fear of bursting into flames.

So this weekend there is a music festival taking place along a popular avenue. There will be concerts of all kinds going on all day and all night at pretty much every bar along the avenue. You pay thirty bucks for a wristband for the whole weekend. I'm still not sure if I'm going. But it sounds pretty fun.

I guess we shall see.

Cosmic Failure

Okay, I haven't written in a while. So here goes.

It's 9:08 in the evening. I am currently listening to Blue Foundation. I'm considering leaving my office chair to purchase some items from the liquor store: vodka and triple sec. Yes, that's right folks, I am considering a Cosmo thanks to my Savi friend ;-)

So what have I been up to other than moping, crying and generally freaking out? Not much. On the music front I've only been to one event - a fundraiser featuring a co-worker in a great local band. We stuck around for their set and another band's but didn't stick around after that.

Tomorrow I'm going with my co-worker B, to watch a different friend participate in Round 3 of a province-wide battle-of-the-bands type thing. He's a great musician and has agreed to give me beginner guitar lessons! Yay! I decided to ask him first before going somewhere else. I think he will be a great teacher and as a bonus I can help support a friend. So it's a win-win.

I had a huge blow-out with my insane boss the other day. I knew it was coming. I don't feel like delving in to the boring details but I left her office knowing that I am finally ready to move on from the nut-house. Course, the anxiety I am going to experience as a result of this revelation may send me to an actual nut-house, but whatev. At least I will be out of there.

-

So, here's the thing. I made my Cosmo last night. Had a few sips and fell asleep. With my contacts in. And the lights and the television on. I woke up at 6:00 AM feeling like crap. Slept for a few hours more.

So my Cosmo was a completely fail. I will have to try harder tonight.

Anyway, I'm still plugging away at my second draft. I once thought I would really enjoy the editing process. But I have to say, I was wrong. It's slow and tedious and frustrating.

And it's how I'm spending my day.

Off to editing drudgery.

Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life. ~Berthold Auerbach

Okay. Here's my Spring Resolution: I will write something everyday, no matter how mundane, right here on this blog. So what shall I write about today?

On March 30th, 2010, I had the privilege of seeing my musical heroes put on the most amazing show EVER. Muse. The concert was EPIC. I loved every moment of it. There is just something about their music that is so stirring. Their music is larger than life and so was the memorable performance they created at the concert. Matthew Bellamy's voice was absolutely flawless. I was jumping up and down like a teen at a Twilight convention. Why can't I feel that good all the time?

One thing I've learned about myself is that music makes me happy. Or sad. But always...sort of... satisfied? I've been trying to get out and go to more concerts, preferably small venue shows, because it seems to be one of the few things that makes me feel good. I was so happy to see Band of Skulls in September and was introduced to a wonderful and unique band from Saskatchewan, called Violent Kin. I am stoked that Band of Skulls is once again coming to my city and I can't wait to see them again! I think Violent Kin is also coming back this summer.

A couple years back I was blown away by the awesomeness that is Sea Wolf. I've listened to the album Leaves In the River many, many times, and one of their songs on that album reminds me so much of my story, (the one, I pretend to work on now and again). I love that music can do that. Just take you into another world, that may not even be the one they intended for you to see, but still acts as a portal to something out of your own imagination. The opening band that night was a band from New York called The Jealous Girlfriends. My favourite song of theirs is Secret Identity.

I've been sick for a week and a half, and am considering legally changing my name to the Magically-Mucous-Producing Monster. Yeah, that's right. It's a hyphenated name. Seriously though, where does it all come from??

I watched Clash of the Titans today. Though I was perfectly happy to sit and watch a movie instead of work, I think when you find yourself getting bored between action sequences, it's a bad sign. I suspect it has something to do with my lack of a penis, as the three boys I was with today seemed to thoroughly enjoy it.

I've decided (if I ever save a bit of money) that I will finally take the guitar lessons I've been meaning to take since I picked up a guitar seven years ago. My dad actually made me a guitar. His first attempt. It was this really heavy, but really tiny little thing that was made just for me. I no longer have it. He took it back. He claims he wants to fix it up some more, but I think he just wants to keep his baby home. He has since made several guitars, and mandolins. But I have one of my own again, and I don't seem to have the motivation or self-discipline to learn past a certain point on my own. I like to write music. Lyrics. Melody. And it's frustrating when I can't go beyond a certain point when I know the sort-of-song I've created, demands it.

So, yeah. Guitar lessons. Soon.